I'm a native New Yorker without the New York accent. Some people find that odd. 

I gave the Cedar Point roller coaster, Rougarou, it's name. 99% of people have no idea what that means, but I'll gladly regale you with the tale if you're interested in Bayou folklore. 

I once wrote and performed a poem when I was just 10 years old. It moved the whole room to tears. Sure, it was during my grandmother's funeral, but that poem was damn good. 


Junior Copywriter
Corona, Heinz, Porsche, Cedar Fair, Ore-Ida, Famous Dave's, New Business
January 2014 - Present

Feature Writer
Wrote Film/TV reviews and op-eds. Was paid in movie tickets, but got to interview Richard Linklater.


Chicago Portfolio School

Haverford College
B.A. Political Science
B.A. Lacrosse (It at least felt like a second major)


Best of Quarter, Copywriting, Chicago Portfolio School
30 Most Creative people in the world named Matt Turnier
Have successfully kept myself alive for 29 years running